If you want to insult an Okravian,
don’t tell him he has a big nose.
The size of their snout
is all they brag about –
a small one just makes them morose.
Their noses stretch down to their diaphragms,
corrugated like wash-machine hoses.
They’ll paint them and draw them
and constantly paw them.
They’re terribly proud of their noses.
They attach heavy weights when they’re babies
and stretch them with pebbles as well
which explains why they’ve got
an abundance of snot
and possess such a great sense of smell.
Status in Okravian circles
is determined by conk size alone.
Large hooters are cool
and those with them rule
and the largest ascends to the throne.
So if you’ve a beak like a mallard
or some other aquatic avian,
don’t worry, don’t pout
at the size of your snout-
ask your Dad if you’re partly Okravian.
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